


what death feels like

by angelheartbeat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Study, Death, Introspection, Spoilers, huge ass massive fucking spoilers dont say i didnt warn you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 05:20:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14465892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelheartbeat/pseuds/angelheartbeat
Summary: In their final moments, death feels different to them all.





	what death feels like

**Author's Note:**

> its been like two days and im still emo
> 
> seriously if you havent seen the movie gtfo and dont say i didnt warn you

Death, Loki thinks, feels like pain and horror and sweet relief all mixed up into horrific pressure bearing down on his throat.

It feels like his chest getting tighter and his mouth filling with blood and the knowledge that Thor could see him, weak and pathetic and destroyed.

It feels like retribution, his past crimes catching up with him, be they influenced by the monster dangling him in the air  _who will never be a god_ or be they influenced by his own selfish jealousy.

It feels like what he deserves.

* * *

Death, Heimdall thinks, feels like something he could have never seen coming.

It feels like a dark spot in his vision, colliding head-on with him painfully and inevitably, and the roaring in his ears is deafening.

It feels like his all-seeing eyes going dark.

* * *

Death, Gamora thinks, feels like betrayal.

It feels like the universe's sick revenge for her deeds. It feels like laughing in her face that she rarely danced, she only told Quill she loved him once, she was the daughter of a fucking psychopath.

It feels like irony and shame and her head smashing against stone and the wish that she could do it all better.

It feels like the worst kind of love there is.

* * *

Death, Vision thinks, feels like Wanda.

It feels like her gentle caress in the morning, like her fingers twitching and swirls of red. It feels like love and warmth and her laughter.

And then it feels like pain, and fear, and her screaming, and his body going limp when just a few moments before he had no body.

It feels like powering down.

* * *

Death, T'challa thinks, feels like peace.

It feels like once more meeting with his father, of joining the black panthers before him. It feels like Wakandan dirt beneath his feet and Okoye's hand passing through his and Shuri making fun of him endlessly.

It feels like moving on.

* * *

Death, Mantis thinks, feels different.

It feels like nothing she's ever felt before, even with all her powers. It feels like anguish and sadness and rage all mixed together, and it feels like peace. It feels like everything she never got the chance to do.

It feels like loneliness.

* * *

Death, Drax thinks, feels like familiarity.

It feels like seeing his wife and daughter again, like a hug after a long, long time apart. It feels like letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

It feels like family.

* * *

Death, Groot thinks, feels different this time.

It feels like Rocket's fear and sadness, and that feels the same. It feels like he might never come back, and that does not. It feels new and terrifying and he wishes he had stayed on his game.

It feels like roots being pulled up.

* * *

Death, Bucky thinks, feels like something that should have happened a long time ago.

It feels like back when Steve was small and needed saving from alleyway fights. It feels like when just a few words would send his soul back into the depths of his brain and someone else would control him.

It feels like seeing Steve again for the first time after his change, like his eyes being opened to someone entirely new, and it feels like being thrown into someplace terrifying and completely different.

It feels like hes out of time.

* * *

Death, Stephen thinks, feels like the only option.

It feels like its right, like this has to happen. It feels like in order for everyone to make it out alive, most of them had to go in dead. It feels like his hand holding The Ancient One's. It feels like her words.

It feels like how things have to be.

* * *

Death, Peter Quill thinks, feels like his mother.

It feels like taking her hand like he wished he had every single day. It feels like being told that his dad did this to her. It feels like losing everything.

It feels like his anger, his rage at losing Gamora too. It feels like her calm voice gently soothing him.

It feels like his fault.

* * *

Death, Sam thinks, feels like absolute bullshit.

It feels like its unfair, that he had so much more he wanted to do. It feels like holding himself on a forest floor. It feels like barely hearing his own name and being unable to respond.

It feels like his wings have been clipped.

* * *

Death, Wanda thinks, feels like hugging her loved ones.

It feels like Pietro snatching her up and carrying her off, laughing all the way. It feels like Vision holding her hand and forgetting to buy paprika. It feels like she's back together with the two she loves above all else.

It feels like she's whole again.

* * *

Death, Peter Parker thinks, feels like almost nothing at all.

It feels like fear, and Mr Stark's arms around him, and he doesn't want to go. It feels like sorrow. It feels like the father figure he never got a chance to say dad to and he doesnt know what he's apologizing for.

It feels like terror for what May'll think, for if shes even okay. It feels like worry for Ned and MJ and even Happy. It feels like fire and fear spreading through his veins. It feels like he has homework due tomorrow and he can't give it in because he died in space.

It feels like the spider bite.

* * *

Death, Maria thinks, feels like an impossibility.

It feels like uncalculated disorganized confusion, and panic, and fear in her eyes, and like the fall of humanity. It feels like the worst thing she's ever felt.

It feels like its happened before.

* * *

Death, Nick Fury thinks, feels like defeat.

**Author's Note:**

> they were gonna be in order but That Fucked Up
> 
> comment or ill,, die too


End file.
